thethirdwonder | Boyfriend Hunting

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Boyfriend Hunting

Last night, Cassie had suggested a new training exercise. Sam knowing how to defend himself was very important to her, especially given the things that tended to happen on the island. So far, he'd been doing well but she'd decided to it was time for a test.

The test was simple. They went out early in the morning when it was cooler out and she gave him one instruction. Run. He was getting a fifteen minute head start and that was it. Then she was coming after him.

As she moved through the trees, Cassie admitted to herself that this was a great idea. She didn't know about Sam, but she was having a blast! Plus, she already had plans to make it up to him later.

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Sam was going to die out here. This was it, his final stand, his final resting place. He was exhausted, covered in dirt and mud and all sorts of small cuts and scratches. This is what Arnold must have felt like in Predator. Only Arnie had never faced anything quite so horrifying as what Sam had.

His girlfriend was hunting him. Somewhere, close by, his girlfriend was taking some sort of perverse delight for putting him through this. Like an eccentric billionaire who had too much time on their hands and had grown tired of hunting animals, she was slowly closing in on him. It was only a matter of time before she or one of the others found him.

Oh yes, there were others. The hound from hell and that demonspawn of a horse were with her, he knew it. That had always wanted to do him in and now was the perfect opportunity. How much would a hoof to the skull look like he accidentally tumbled on some rocks? If the dog savaged his throat enough, would it look like a raptor attack?

His throat was scratchy and dry and he couldn't remember the last time he had a drink of water. Hours? Days? Going toward a water source was an obvious move and any time he moved in that direction, she moved with him, blocking him from it. She was canny, his girlfriend. Mirroring his every move, toying with him like a cat toys with its prey.

The trick was on her though. Sonya had trained him well and he finally found a defensible spot; a small burrow that backed against the side of a hill and a large tree. There was no place to run, but Sam was done running. He had set two snares on the path leading up to his position, one more of a decoy than anything else.

Now, now there was just the waiting.

Once she'd found his trail, with a little help from Iris, Cassie had started stalking him through the trees.

She sent Iris down the path, hoping the dog was smart enough to avoid the snares, while she took up a position in the tree beside his hiding spot. Attack from both sides. She waited until his attention was on the dog before dropping down.

Sam had found a stick on the ground and picked it up to defend himself with. Breathing hard, he wiped the sweat away from his forehead and tried to focus his vision. The island was normally pretty warm, but he seemed really, really hot right now.

"It's just you and me, stick," he mumbled to the piece of wood as he heard Iris approach. "And I hate to do this to you, but it's either you or me. FETCH!"

Sam threw the stick past the dog, but she didn't even slow down. Screaming, he turned and tried to climb up the tree.

Iris watched the stick sail past her but just kept trotting down the path. Stupid boy.

Meanwhile, Cassie just waited until Sam made some progress on the tree before dropping to the lowest branch. "Hi." She said with a grin and small wave.

Sam screamed. Not only did he scream though, he let go of the tree. Since his hands were the main thing that were keeping him attached to the tree, he fell backward to the ground.

He landed with a thud and felt all the air rush out of him. Iris snarled near him and Sam was sure that he was going to die. The dog, or the horse, or his girlfriend, one of them was going to kill him. Probably the dog, so it could eat his heart and gain his strength. He couldn't even remember why he had been out here in the first place, just that he had been doing nothing but running the entire time.

When Sam screamed and fell, Cassie immediately jumped down next to him. Something was wrong, very wrong and it suddenly wasn't fun anymore.

"Iris, enough!" She snapped at the dog who immediately stopped growling but looked put out. "Go to Hermera." The dog hesitated for a moment before turning to go, which made Cassie breath a bit easier. She knew dog made Sam nervous and she didn't want to make things worse.

She knelt next to Sam and placed a careful hand on his chest. "Sam? Are you okay?"

"Hermera," Sam said, reaching up to pet what he thought was the pegasus's nose but was actually his girlfriend's face. In his defense, his vision was blurry from the fall, the mud, the sweat, and everything else.

"Well played, my pony nemesis," he, still petting her. "Well played."

Cassie blinked as she was petted and called by her horse's name. Something was definitely not right.

She caught Sam's hand between hers and squeezed it. "Sam, come on, look at me. It's Cassie. What's wrong?" A hand went down to feel his forehead and she winced when she felt the fever. "Dammit, Witwicky, why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?!"

When she pressed a hand and not a hoof against his forehead, Sam realized that it was his girlfriend and not her horse. And that he had just mistaken his girlfriend for her horse. This was not good.

"We were just going for a walk," he murmured. "Then... didn't want you to think I was a wuss. An' I thought I'd be okay."

At his words, Cassie sighed and leaned down to press a light kiss to his forehead. "I wouldn't think you were a wuss. And if you are sick enough to think I'm my horse then you are too sick to go for a walk." And of course now she felt guilty for how much enjoyment she'd been having his expense.

"Think you walk if I get you up?" Cassie was strong but she didn't know if she'd be able to carry him all the way to their hut, much less the Compound if he really needed medical attention.

"Wasn't too bad until I got dehydrated," Sam said, some of his brainpower coming back now that he was resting a bit and not over-stressed from the hunt. Groaning, he shifted first to his knees and then slowly up to his feet with some help.

Pulling him up, it took everything Cassie had not to hit him. How could he be so stupid and yet she mostly blamed herself. "Do you want me to go get some water first? I have some nearby."

"Yeah. And I promise to wait here and just rest if you promise not to blame yourself."

Sam knew Cassie and how she took responsibility for everything. Even things that weren't her fault. Sometimes especially things that weren't here fault. This was his screw up and he didn't want her feeling guilty about it.

Too late for that. Cassie sighed and kissed Sam's forehead. "I'll be right back." She made sure he was leaning against a tree before she climbed up the tree to move a few trees over to where she hid from water in the branches.

It was pretty obvious that Cassie blamed herself, so Sam didn't feel like he needed to stay there. Grabbing onto the tree and the surrounding hill Sam began to slowly make his way out of his little shelter. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, he felt absolutely exhausted.

Which is why he didn't think to watch out for his own snare and stepped right through it, the vine whipping around his ankle and holding his foot right where it was, causing him to fall flat on his face.

When she returned with the water, Cassie wasn't surprised to see that Sam had moved even if it annoyed her. He'd already tried to be macho enough for the day, now he was just going to make it worse.

She heard the snare release and sighed to herself. Changing her course, she dropped down to crouch beside him. "Why didn't you stay put?" She offered the water bottle but didn't move to release him yet.

"Because you're blaming yourself," he said, giving her a small smile from where he was on the ground before taking a long drink from the water bottle. Never had anything tasted so good as the water. Sweet, cool water.

"I said I wouldn't move if you didn't blame yourself."

Rolling her eyes, Cassie gave him an exasperated smile. "You have the survival sense of a kitten, you know that?" She leaned over and freed his ankle before looking back at him. "Come on, let's get you to the clinic. Before you find some other stupid thing to do."

"I will stop doing stupid things when you stop feeling stupid guilty," Sam told her, hoping that made at least a little sense. Right now it was kind of hard to tell and he wasn't sure how much of this he would remember.

"I know you. You feel guilty even though it's my fault."

"Maybe if you stopped doing stupid things, I'd have nothing to feel guilty about!" Cassie snapped and regretted it immediately.

She sighed. "I'm sorry. But seriously Sam. I was chasing you through the woods when you were sick. You were afraid of me." And that was one of the things that disturbed her the most, the fear in his eyes when she'd surprised him.

"S'okay, you totally just admitted it was me doing something stupid. So it's my fault."

Sam was pretty sure that she would still blame herself, but hopefully she would blame herself a little less. Probably not, but maybe.

"Not afraid. Just... respecting your abilities. While running."

Cassie sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Can we get you to the clinic before we keep talking about this? I admit, the feelings of guilt would be better if I knew you were okay."

And she really just wanted to stop talking about this. Especially the afraid of her part.

"Sure."

Sam's pretty sure the guilty feelings will only be minimally better, but anything he can do to help her feel better he'll do. At least this made her forget that he mistook her for her pony. That was something.

"Okay, this may still be the fever talking, but I think there's a banana stalking us."

Oh, Cassie hadn't forgotten that. But it really more just added to her worry more then guilt. For him to be that out of it had to be bad.

Though she couldn't help herself as she laughed. "Should I sic Iris on it?"

"No, no," Sam said in a hushed voice. "We need to follow it back to the bunch."

Sam was not really serious about that. Mostly. It was a pretty solid strategy, he was sure about that, even if the banana probably wasn't real.

"Uh huh." Cassies said, humoring him as she kept him walking in the direction of the Compound. "And why would we need to do that? I think we're well stocked with bananas, we don't need to find their secret lair."

"To kidnap the Banana King of course," he said. He wasn't sure anymore if he was making all of this up or if at one point he had been convinced that some of it had been real.

"We can ransom him back. Unlimited bananas for life, baby. Think about that. Thiiiiink about it."

"Oh I'm thinking about it alright." Cassie said with a soft chuckle. She wasn't sure either if he was still hallucinating or being ridiculous just to cheer her up but if it was the latter, she appreciated the effort. "How do we tell him apart from the other bananas?" She asked, humoring him. "Will he have a tiny crown?"

"Duh, and a tiny scepter," Sam said with a nod. He could have gone on and on about the Banana King but he was pretty sure if he talked too much about it she would start to really worry. He would too.

"Eternally at war against the Monkey King! And that's... I'm going to stop there."

"Oh, please continue, so I have more to remind you of when you are feeling better." If she could bring herself to tease him after all this. Cassie didn't know. She knew Sam didn't want her to feel guilty but she still felt responsible.

"No, no, I'd better stop being I need to focus on not throwing up," Sam said, suddenly feeling a bit nauseous. If he just focused on breathing properly, he probably wouldn't puke. Probably.

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